"The little blue bastards came out of nowhere. It was like hell itself had opened up and released a horde of blue demons in white pants. They overran Fort Peyo within a few hours and were assaulting the outskirts of the capital hive before many knew what was even happening. Emperor save us from the Smurfs." - Imperial Guard Colonel Slrig Ecips
"Smash the smurfing Imperium scum! Leave no smurfy stone unturned!" - Attributed to SmurfForce Commander Death Smurf
"Our past is
a long and unsmurfy one. Listen to out tale of smurfy woe
"
- Historian Smurf
The Smurfs are actually a native race from Terra. In an age long past they lived at peace with nature in the forests of Northern America and parts of Europe. They are an incredibly powerful psychic race, as well as masters of genetic engineering and mechanics.
The Smurfs lived at peace for centuries until the humans discovered them. These humans believed them to be leprechauns and attempted to hunt the Smurfs for gold (which the Smurfs had none of). Countless Smurfs died in the ensuing Unsmurfy Wars. And what remained of a once happy, carefree race were bitter, vengeful monsters willing to risk death to strike back at the humans.
But they were too few in number and stature. So using their collective psychic powers moved their entire race into the warp to find a new home. The humans thought it was the last they would see of the smurfs.
They were wrong
"Do you want to smurf forever?" - StrikeSmurf Commander
The Smurfs gathered their strength for long millennia. Wearing their hate like a cloak in a harsh universe. They made plans, constructed machines of destruction. And waited for the time to strike.
Today they live in the Smurf Commune. A massive communistic society that rules over all the Smurfs and directs them to their eventual goal of the destruction of all mankind and anyone who has dealings with them (i.e. everyone).
The Smurfs of today bear little resemblance to the Smurfs of long past. For one, extensive genetic engineering has made the Smurf of the 41st millenium a hulking brute. Standing at least 5 apples high.
They wear intricate exoskeleton powered suits constructed by the Handy Smurfs and developed by the Brainy Smurfs. As they sweep across the battlefield their trilling war cry "LA LA LALALA LAA" strikes fear into even the cold hearts of the Tyranids.
"Let loose the Smurfs of WAR!!!" - Archsmurf Poppa
Smurf forces have three primary divisions. There are the War Smurfs who serve in the various Smurf Armed Forces (SAF), the Brainy Smurfs who usually fill strategic and planning positions, and the Handy Smurfs who fill the technician and engineer positions.
It is easy to see the Smurfs as a caste driven communistic society. And to an extent they are. But there is only a limited genetic diversity among the Smurfs caused by limited breeding opportunities (usually 1 female to 100 male Smurfs) and an inbuilt proclivity to certain tasks.
Smurf infantry are generally organized into several "smurftroops" of similar types. Thus the Pyrosmurfs are in one group while the Psychosmurfs are in another.
All Smurf infantry are bloodthirsty combatants, and while locked in their powered exoskeletons are a powerful force to be reckoned with.
Grunt Smurfs
These are the most common line troopers in the Smurf Commune.
They are heavily armored and capable of taking on any force of equivalent size.
Model: Space Marine stand painted with white legs and blue torso/head.
Assault Smurfs
These are Smurfs armed with heavy weapons to support their fellow Smurf warriors
while smurfing the life out their enemies.
Model: Space Marine stand painted orange with white legs.
Pyro Smurfs
These are Smurfs with something of a pyromania and thus assigned to
special units where their skills can best be used.
Model: Space Marine stand painted red with white legs.
Psycho Smurfs
These are the Smurfs who have gone over the edge into complete smurfy
bloodlust. Only regular doses of narcotic smurfberries keep them under enough control
before they can be unleashed on the enemy. Although not armed with any ranged weapons they
are famous for their incredible speed and ferocious hand to hand capabilities. To
represent this Psycho Smurfs may move TRIPLE their normal movement allowance when on
charge orders.
Model: Space Marine stand painted purple with white legs. "Gnurf! Gnurf!"
Stormsmurfs
These are the elite of the smurf military. They are equipped with weapons of
incredible power and armor forged by the best Handy Smurfs in the Commune. They are truly
an awesome foe. Their battlecry is "Stormsmurfs ATTAAAAACCCCCCKKKKK!!!!!"
Model: Space Marine stand painted all white.
Smurfinators
These are hardcore warriors who have given up their smurfyness to be in a
robotic dreadnought.
Model: Space Marine painted black with white legs.
Smurf Overlord
Usually referred to as "Papa" for some obscure reason. These aged
Smurfs have a variety of psychic powers as well as being natural leaders of Smurfs.
Smurf Overlords are command units and thus need never be given orders. They always move as if on charge and fire in the first fire segment. In additional all smurf units within 10 cm receive a +1 on their morale rolls.
Model: Space Smurf..umm.. Space Marine stand painted red with white legs.
Smurfettes
These are the rare female Smurfs. They serve very little combat purpose
but there presence inspires the male smurfs to great acts of courage and ferocity. All
Smurf stands that have LOS to a Smurfette stand pass all morale tests they may need to
make and add +1 to all CAF rolls.
Model: Space Marine stand painted pink.
Handy Smurfs
Sometimes Handy Smurfs will take to the battlefield to help repair
damaged Smurf organic war machines. Any Smurf vehicle within 10 cm of the handy smurf have
an additional unmodified 5+ save. All Healer rules apply to the handy smurf.
Model: Space Marine Stand painted Brown with white legs.
Doc Smurf
These specialist Smurfs seek to heal all those Smurfs who have been
injured. They work like Smurfs possessed to save their comrades on the battlefield. They
follow the standard rules for Healers.
Model: Space Marine Stand painted all white with a red head.
"Go smurf yourself!" - Smurf warcry
Smurf Vengeance
Products of Smurf bioengineering and experimentation. These war machines
look odd on the battlefield but are devastating. The vehicles smurflaser may fire in any
direction as the beam is actually emitted from the vehicles hull. The Vengeance serves as
the Smurfs' primary medium tank.
Model: A walnut, not too big. Preferably painted blue.
Smurf Deathsmurf
The Deathsmurf is the Smurfs' answer to the Imperials' abundance of
artillery. It is a long ranged assault system designed to take out troops from long
distances.
Model: A peanut with a small stick glued on.
Smurf Mercedes
The Mercedes is the smurfs primary APC.
Model: A peanut.
Smurf Skysweeper
This is a modified Mercedes mounting two rapid fire smurflasers for
anti-aircraft use.
Model: A peanut with two small sticks.
Smurf Fighter
A smurf fighter is a vey small, nimble craft designed to clear the skies
of enemy aircraft.
Model: US Marine PFC chevrons.
Smurf Fighter-Bomber
A slightly larger airframe then the fighter. This aircraft is equally at
home in the air or smurfing the living crap out of enemy troops. The fighter bomber
can drop two bomb templates during a strafing run. The bomb templates must touch.
Model: US Marine Corporal chevrons.
SMURF ARMY LIST SUMMARY | |||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Troop Type | Move | Saving Throw |
CAF | Weapons | Range | Attack Dice |
Roll To Hit |
Save Mod |
Notes |
Infantry | |||||||||
Grunt | 10 cm |
6+ |
+3 |
Smurfguns | 50 cm |
1 |
5+ |
0 |
|
Assault | 10 cm |
6+ |
+1 |
Smurfcannons | 75 cm |
1 |
5+ |
-2 |
|
Pyro | 10 cm |
6+ |
+2 |
Smurf-flamers | 15 cm |
1 |
3+ |
0 |
Ignores cover |
Psycho | 10 cm |
6+ |
+4 |
Smurfswords | Ignore Morale, Elite, Jump packs | ||||
Stormsmurf | 10 cm |
5+ |
+2 |
Smurfguns | 50 cm |
2 |
5+ |
-1 |
Ignore Morale, Elite |
Smurfinators | 15 cm |
4+ |
+3 |
Smurflasers | 75 cm |
2 |
4+ |
-1 |
Ignore morale, Eite |
Special Units | |||||||||
Overlord | 10 cm |
6+ |
+5 |
Smurfguns | 50 cm |
2 |
4+ |
-1 |
Command Unit, Elite, Psyker |
Smurfette | 10 cm |
None |
-1 |
None | Command Unit | ||||
Handy | 10 cm |
6+ |
+1 |
Smurfpistols | 25 cm |
1 |
5+ |
0 |
Healer, Command Unit |
Doc | 10 cm |
6+ |
+1 |
Smurfpistols | 25 cm |
1 |
5+ |
0 |
Healer, Command Unit |
Vehicles | |||||||||
Vengeance | 20 cm |
3+ |
+2 |
Smurflaser | 75 cm |
1 |
4+ |
-2 |
Skimmer |
Deathsmurf | 15 cm |
4+ |
+1 |
Smurfartillery | 150 cm |
6 BP |
4+ |
-1 |
|
Mercedes | 25 cm |
4+ |
+1 |
Smurfguns | 25 cm |
2 |
6+ |
0 |
Carries 2 stands, skimmer |
Skysweeper | 25 cm |
4+ |
+1 |
Smurf AA | 100 cm |
2 |
4+ |
-1 |
AA unit, skimmer |
Flyers | |||||||||
Fighter | special |
4+ |
+4 |
Smurfgatlings | 50 cm |
1 |
3+ |
0 |
Thruster |
Fighter-Bomber | 3+ |
+2 |
Smurfgatling Smurfbombs |
50 cm |
1 |
3+ |
0 |
Thruster Bomb templates must touch |
The SmurfLord is a titanic machine of destruction. Its appearance on the battlefield is considered an ill omen for the Smurfs' enemies.
Move |
CAF |
Shields |
Weapon |
Notes |
|||||
15 cm |
+10 |
8 Void Shields |
1 |
||||||
Weapon | Range |
Attack |
To Hit |
Targets |
Notes | ||||
Smurfano Cannon | 200 cm |
6 |
4+ |
-3 |
Recharges D3 attack dice per turn. 360 degree arc |
SmurfLord Hit Location Templates
ALL SIDES |
|||
Head |
Head |
||
Laser |
Laser |
Laser |
Laser |
Body |
Body |
Body |
Body |
Body |
Body |
Body |
Body |
Body |
Body |
Body |
Body |
SmurfLord Damage Table
Head 1-2 CAF halved and it may only move or fire if you first roll a 4+ on 1D6 until damage is repaired. 3 CAF halved for the rest of the game. 4 Same as 1-2, except cannot be repaired. 5-6 The Smurflord crashes to the ground as a result of the explosions. Decide randomly which way the Titan falls and place it on its side lying in that direction. Any vehicles or troop stands that are fallen on are destroyed. |
Laser
1-2 Weapon damaged and cannot be used until repaired. Recharges as normal 3-4 Weapon damaged. Loses 2 attack dice of firepower. 5 Weapon heavily damaged as above plus may not fire until repaired. |
Body 1-2 The void shield generators are shut down and the shields may not be used until repaired. 3-4 The Smurflords void shield generators are shut down and the shields may not be used any further in the game. 5 The shields are in danger of overloading and you must shut them down before they explode. Roll a D6. On 5-6 the shields are safely shut down. On 1-4 they explode as described below: 6 The Smurflords void shields overload and explode. The Titan is destroyed but remains standing. Any models within 5D6 cm are automatically hit by debris, and must make an unmodified save to avoid destruction. |
* A damaged location or a downed
shield is repaired by a 5+ on a D6. Model: An apple. |